As I waited in the kitchen, I saw the truck pull up in my driveway. It was May, and it was hot, and my children were just about to get into bed so they were wild! He was early. I was trying to finish the dishes when he knocked on the door.
And that was the beginning of my fairytale. John and I met on http://eharmony.com in February of 2016 and were married July 4th of the same year. I was divorced with three children, working the midnight shift as a CNA at a nursing home, and older than him…John had it all together, had never been married, had a career as a lineman, bought a house, and might I mention incredibly handsome. I would have never thought a man like him would ever want a woman like me, and yet here he was…in love with ME.
There have been stories similar to mine, including my cousin, but there have also been horror stories as well. I found there are five steps to internet dating success:
Normally, I am all about saving money and getting something for next to nothing, but this is the one thing I would say you shouldn’t take the cheap route. There are times in life that when you buy the cheapest you get the cheapest product and when you are thinking about the rest of your life, DO YOU WANT THE CHEAPEST PRODUCT?? Now that being said, http://match.com and http://eharmony.com offer a free preview weekend from time to time that you should definitely take advantage of. As a single mom of three small children, dating was nearly obsolete, between work and hanging around out with my favorite little people, there was no time for a real date. Internet dating was the best option for me and I could get on there at anytime day or night.
Do you REALLY want the cheapest product??
At first glance, a person may not be exactly what you want in a partner. Ever heard the saying “beauty is only skin deep”? From my own personal experience, I thought that finding someone who shared my interests, moral characteristics, and college basketball team was more than enough (John being a handsome devil was just a perk 😜) I cannot say what he thought of me at first glance, but I am sure a single mom of three, with a barely part time job and absolutely no financial stability, was unexpected. Now look at where we are today:
Ever heard the saying, “beauty is only skin deep”?
John and I were from different cities, actually an hour and a half difference. I wasn’t sure about moving considering I had just moved back to my hometown, but, keeping an open mind led us to his hometown. For me, moving wasn’t optimal, but he was settled in a home where I was just a renter. When you find the person that gives you a sense of purpose, who fills your life in ways you never thought possible, you will move mountains to be with them. It may be hard, but it’s worth the effort! Keep an open mind about your partner and the situations that may hinder you being together. There is always a way!
Keep in mind that people have baggage. Everyone has been hurt, neglected, and abused in some way, and opening up to a new person may be difficult at first. Have fun with that person, be silly and spontaneous, see if they will come out of their shell. If nothing else, you’ve given them a fun time, even if they are not a right fit for you.
Funny story: John and I are very similar with the music we like, the things we do for fun, and our moral compass, however, one of the things we can get on heated topic about is POLITICS. We are from differing political parties. It’s comical because I swore I could never be with someone of his political affiliation…and here he is…my true love!
When you find the person who gives you a sense of purpose, who fulfills your life in ways you never thought possible, YOU WILL MOVE MOUNTAINS TO BE WITH THEM.
This is probably the most important thing that you need to pay attention to. Meeting someone you have never seen before is very scary in this day and age. You must protect yourself at all costs as well as your children. If you follow these safeguards, you are guaranteed to have a fun filled date:
1. NEVER MEET IN A PRIVATE PLACE. You should always meet in public, at a restaurant, movie, bar, park, etc. This way, it would be harder for a person to take you and no one see it.
2. TELL A FRIEND OR FAMILY MEMBER THE DETAILS OF THE DATE. You should always tell someone who you are going to meet, where you will be, what time to expect you back, and even a picture if you have one.
3. HAVE A SECRET WORD. After a while during your date, call a friend and give them the secret word that it’s either going well or not so great. Have an emergency word if you feel threatened or afraid for the friend to call the police.
4. NEVER GIVE PRIVATE INFORMATION ON THE FIRST DATE. It’s a good idea to keep your address to yourself, keep your wallet on you at all times, and hold your phone close at hand. You do not want to be prey for an identity theft. Also, you do not have to give details about your family or job right away. You could say, “I am a CNA at a local nursing home,” instead of “…I work at Spring Creek Healthcare on the midnight shift Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.” Too much information…save that for a few dates in!
You must protect yourself at all costs…
Honesty is always the best policy. I’m not saying air out all your dirty laundry on the first few dates…if asked, answer honestly. You’ll have plenty of time to show who you are and what you have been through without scaring them away. If you haven’t told them you have children, you should tell them right away. Kids aren’t for everyone, and this way you’ll know straight away. BE YOU.
Honesty is ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY. be you.
Dating shouldn’t be a sad experience. Even if they aren’t THE ONE you’ve made a new acquaintance or maybe a good friend. Your fairytale is out there looking for you, you just have to be brave enough to go for it! Just remember the rules:
•Pay for the membership•
•Look for similarities in character not just beauty•
•Take a chance with someone unexpected•
•BE VERY CAREFUL WITH SOMEONE NEW•
•Tell the truth about who you are and what you believe in•
I believe in true love. I would love to hear your success stories and stories of heartbreak. Share your story in the comments below.